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| Once upon a time, I believe it was a Tuesday, when I caught your eye we caught onto something. I hold onto the night you looked me in the eye and told me you loved me. Were you just kidding? Cause it seems to me this thing is breaking down, we almost never speak. I don't feel welcome anymore. Baby what happened? Please tell me cause one second it was perfect, now you're halfway out the door.
And I stare at the phone. He still hasn't called. And then you feel so low you can't feel nothin at all and you flash back to when he said forever and always. And it rains in your bedroom. Everything is wrong. It rains when you're here and it rains when you're gone. I was there when you said forever and always.
Was I out of line? Did I say something way too honest? Made you run and hide like a scared little boy. I looked into your eyes. Thought I knew you for a minute and now I'm not so sure. So here's to everything coming down to nothing. Here's to silence that cuts me to the core. Where is this going?
Thought I knew for a minute but I don't anymore.
And I stare at the phone. He still hasn't called. And then you feel so low you can't feel nothin at all and you flash back to when he said forever and always. And it rains in your bedroom. Everything is wrong. It rains when you're here and it rains when you're gone. I was there when you said forever and always.
You didn't mean it baby... I don't think so. Back up, baby back up, did you forget everything?
Please back up...
And I stare at the phone. He still hasn't called. And then you feel so low you can't feel nothin at all and you flash back to when we said forever and always. Cause it rains in your bedroom. Everything is wrong. It rains when you're here and it rains when you're gone. I was there when you said forever and always.
You didn't mean it baby... You said forever and always.
Word of advice... No matter how perfect you think your relationship is always be careful. Be careful with who you give your heart to. I gave mine to the wrong person for a long time and now I have nothing.
Just be careful...
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| Life is Good. i honestly can't complain and i'm not going to.
things are good.
i absolutely love being back in SD.
everything is chill with all my friends.
i'm taking a break from dating which is nice.
i don't have any boy drama to worry about.
i'm not letting things get to me and i'm letting things just figure themselves out.
funny how when i stop caring or showing attention magically they call and text all the time.
the world is a funny place isn't it?
anyway it's a nice change of pace.
the whole out of site, out of mind thing helps too i think.
i'm just feeling good.
school is good, families good, friends are great, boys are good.
everything is coming together and it's just nice. anyhoo, just thought i'd do alittle update since i haven't in awhile. XOXO AmandaRenee | | |
| i'm all packed up and ready to head back down to san diego.
i honestly can't wait.i'm tired of stupid "back home" drama.
my life is in san diego.
i'm excited to move into my adorable house with my roomates and make my room all cute and just have a good time.
anyways i'm off to bed.we have a long drive tomorrow.
gnite kids.
XOXO
AmandaRenee
ps. (probably won't make sense to people but...)
honestly am i really that surprised?
sadly...no. | | |
| i can't wait to get back down to SD.
i just can't handle it here anymore.
i'm so over all of the bull shit. | | |
| i hate boys that make me cry.
i'm trying to be the strong one and not feel hurt but it's so damn hard.
i'm just so damn tired of all this.
honestly i just don't think i can put up with it anymore.
all i end up getting is a broken heart and it needs to stop.
i just always feel like i'm not strong enough to end things tho.
as much as i always say that i will, i always eventually go back.
i don't wanna go back anymore and i'm not sure how to find the strength to be able to end it.
it scares me that i haven't been able to figure it out. | | |
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